


To err is human.

by HufflepuffsAngel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bros helping bros, Bunker, Cas gets raped, Destiel - Freeform, EVEN BETTER DEAN KILLS THE RAPIST HIMSELF, Homophobic references, I am mad, M/M, Masochism, One Shot, Rape, THE RAPIST DIES, This seemed like such a good idea, You guessed it - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-12
Updated: 2013-09-14
Packaged: 2017-12-26 10:04:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/964669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HufflepuffsAngel/pseuds/HufflepuffsAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bunker antics with Dean and Cas, I kinda forgot about Sam.<br/>Cas is gay and goes to a gay bar to seek a boyfriend and rid himself of his infatuation with Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Trusting Nature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haahahahaha *cries*

Castiel was pretty sure he was gay.

Or at least that was what the humans called it.  

Having witnessed the definition of the word alter significantly during his time on Earth, Castiel was surprised to find that it now reffered to homosexuality and was no longer synonymous with 'happy'. Intruiging.

Surely this new development meant that people who were homosexual were now viewed gladly by those around them and no longer discriminated against. This assumption however proved incorrect, when Castiel used an internet search engine to locate the nearest 'gay bar', as additional websites that appeared spoke crudely of homosexuals as 'disgusting'. That was never the case in heaven, Castiel mused, as angels were genderless and did not discriminate sexuality. But here among the humans, he had accepted that his new sexuality may still be victimised.

Perhaps that was why he did not tell Dean.

Or, he thought, that was what he told himself was the reason.

Part of himself was worried Dean too may believe in the strange stigma attached to 'gay' men, that they are weak and effeminate and he didn't want to be treated differently by his friend. They had a working friendship based on mutual trust and the strength of their friendship.

They killed monsters together, now that Cas was human too, and he did not want Dean to no longer think him capable or strong.

The secret reason he did not tell Dean was worse. Worse than Dean thinking less of him.

He might be disgusted. Every lingering glance, touch and hug could now be viewed sexually if Dean knew. If Dean knew Cas was probably gay in the first place because of him. Because of the way his ass looked in tight jeans, the gorgeous way his torso stretched when he picked an item from a high shelf and his cocky smile that made Castiel's heart beat like the chatter of machine gunfire.

No he decided. Dean couldn't know.

On Friday night he donned his jacket, having taken extra care to dress nicely with his old blue tie and clean hair.

He left a note for Dean to say he was going out, the hunter needn't know where and it was better to avoid the confrontation that may have been caused by seeing Dean before he left.

Cas had gotten the address of the closest gay bar from Google maps, taking care to delete his internet history. A trick Sam had taught him after Dean had spammed Sam's laptop with busty Asian beauty ads.

The bar was called The Two Dragons, yet upon his entrance Castiel noticed that the dragon theme was not continued within. Trying not to be disappointed, he got a seat at the bar and ordered a beer. He did not even have time to turn and survey the room before a man with short black hair smoothly sat next to him and smiled strangely at him.

"Hey Gorgeous" the man drawled, in a thick Texan accent.

"Hello" Castiel replied. Remembering just in time that "gorgeous" was a compliment and not a mistaken identity.

"So first time?" the man enquired still smiling in a weird way, only using half of his mouth.

"How do you know?" Cas asked.

"Easy" the man smiled and leaned in, "You're my type babe, I could've picked you a mile away"

"Oh".

This man seemed well practiced in relations with other men then, perhaps he could help?

"I am looking for someone to date" Castiel admitted. He was quite sure he wanted a _relationship_ , one where he genuinely enjoyed the company of his partner and they were not "flings" like Dean had.

"Of course darlin! That's why we gotta get to know each other first" the man replied.

"Let's sit somewhere more comfortable" He got up from the bar and Cas followed him to the booths. Cas noticed their were couples kissing in most of the booths, he wondered if he would do that too, by the end of the night.

As they sat, Cas noticed the man wore a selection of odd trinkets on his wrists, leather bracelets that did not match, a hair bobble and two watches. He thought it strange that he should need so many items of jewellery but was stopped short of inquiring as the man asked...

"Shall I get us drinks then?"

Cas nodded.

Though, as the Texan walked back across the room toward the bar, he thought it strange too that they had just left the bar area and his drink was still half full.

Perhaps his was some sort of dating ritual he did not yet understand, he quickly downed his drink so as not to seem rude and relished the pleasant buzz it gave him. He realised that he did not yet know the man's name and decided to ask him when he returned.

Castiel was glad the man looked nothing like Dean, his short black hair and brown eyes, could distract him from his intermittent day dreams of green eyes and full grins. He shook his head angrily. He was here to put a stop to all that and find a nice normal boyfriend who wanted to be more than friends with him.

It took rather a long time for the man to come back with the drinks. Castiel supposed there was a queue but he couldn't see due to the high enclosed walls of the booth. A while later the man returned with two enormous trays of drinks, and many small ones that Cas recognised as shots. He took a row of shots off each tray, five for himself and five for Cas.

"Alright darling, lets see how good you swallow" the man drawled, grinning one-sidedly again. Castiel was aware that drinking copious amounts of alcohol asserts masculinity and to some extent bravado among men and he was determined to prove himself to this potential boyfriend. He downed the shots, one after the other in quick succession, lowering the fifth back to the table just in time to see the other man finish his second.

"Damn honey, that's impressive" he sniggered and Cas considered it a small victory for himself that he could drink more than the other man.  
They passed more time drinking more of the alcohol the Texan had bought and it all seemed very funny to Cas, the other man could make him laugh very much, in fact he was so hilarious that Cas accidently spilt one of his drinks and they both laughed about that as well.

At some point they decided to start dancing in the big crowd of dancers but Cas kept tripping over his own feet and lunging from side to side because his head felt so heavy. He was hot all over and there where many bodies touching him from all sides and he was getting more and more tired. His head was buzzing and his movements were sloppy. Hands were touching and pulling him. It was dark and warm.

A door opened and they were outside the bar, he felt the cool air from outside hit his chest he was momentarily relieved, his breathing calmed down a little because it was dark and quiet in the alley he was in. But then he realised he had no idea how he had gotten there.  
He turned to look for the other man but was hit hard in the head.  
He was falling again.


	2. Spiders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is life without a bit more drama?

Back at the bunker the next day, Cas's shoulders twitched at the slam of the front door.

"Cas?!" Dean's voice cracked like a whip in the empty space of the bunker.

"In the kitchen" He replied, re-adjusting the collar of his shirt to hide the bite marks.

Dean's quick footsteps hurried around the corner into the room. His eyes quickly flicked up and down Cas's figure, checking for injuries or blood but Cas had been careful. Washing all the blood of his clothes, ironing every crease from his shirt, while Dean had obviously been out looking for him.

Castiel pulled what he hoped was his normal expression, onto his face. Dean narrowed his eyes.

"Where the hell where you last night, man?"

"I went out".

All morning he had tried in vain to come up with an explanation, some various errand he could have undertaken in the dead of night, that would placate Dean and assuage any suspicion he held. But none came to mind. Perhaps it was for the best, after everything they had been through together, Castiel still could not lie to the hunter efficiently.

Dean scrutinised him. His brilliant green eyes burning Cas. Any other day he might have relished Dean staring at him, today he just wanted to curl up and hide until the storm passed.

"Your eyes are bloodshot dude, were you out drinking?"

"Yes"

This was partially true. He _had_ been out drinking but his eyes were bloodshot from crying.

"Oh"

Dean nodded. Then he shrugged and tried to pretend that he was fine with Castiel's answer, he sat down at the table, pulling newspaper clippings and his new laptop (courtesy of Sam) toward him.

Cas continued to look at him.

He wanted to scream.

Part of him desperately wanted Dean to know, wanted Dean to help him. He had spent the night crying out for his friend to save him while sharp teeth bit into his shoulders and bruising fingers dug into his hips, knowing that he would never hear him.

If only he had told Dean where he had gone.

If only he had the guts to tell him now.

It was worse to watch Dean act like he had not been betrayed and that he wasn't hurt by Cas' obvious dishonesty.

They had both lied and betrayed one another too often. Cas took a deep breath and steadied himself on the counter. Their friendship, was surely worth more than his pride. He was a foolish, naïve and idiotic human and though it hurt to realise it, after being so powerful for so long, Dean was worth more than him and he deserved the truth.

He opened his mouth to speak.

"So ugh... we got a case in Topeka, if you wanna suit up"

Cas's breath caught in his throat.

Dean didn't look at him but he felt dismissed.

He lost his nerve.

Castiel pushed of the counter and walked to his room. His head buzzing, he knew Dean was still angry at him for lying but the hunter was going to pretend everything was fine.

Cas didn't think he would ever be fine again.

Cas felt sick as he sat down gingerly on his bed, his insides were in turmoil.

Should he tell Dean or not?

He had been raped but as he was gay, perhaps Dean might think he deserved it.

He thought he might throw up and pressed a hand to his stomach but hissed when his hand hit the gravel burn from last night, as his torso had been thrust up and down the small stretch of pavement in the alley and his shirt had ridden up. Cas ran to the en suite in his bedroom in time to puke up more alcohol and bile.

Fifteen minutes later he stood at the door in the same outfit from last night, his only good suit.

Wearing it made him feel indistinct memories slap his subconscious occasionally, threatening to make him gag again.

Dean joined him, stuffing papers into his blazer pocket before surveying Cas.

"Don't forget your tie, dude."

Cas felt the blood rush out of his face and the room start to spin.

"I don't have it"

His voice quavered as he recalled the leer of the Texan close to his own face as he lay on the ground, half naked and bloody.

"Something for my troubles, darling" he had sneered, before roughly yanking Cas' tie from around his neck.

Cas winced at the memory and Dean noticed.

"What do you mean? Have you checked your room?" Dean made to check Cas's room.

"No, I just...don't have it"

He honestly could not think of another thing to say.

Dean was glaring now. "Did you lose it last night?"

Cas sucked in a breathe and he felt blood rush to his face.

Dean walked closer, Cas's breathing quickened.  
Dean carefully lifted his left hand and placed it against Cas's jaw, Cas felt his heart clench up and he hyperventilated.  
Dean turned his jaw to the side.  
His green eyes hardened like diamonds. He dropped his hand and stepped back.

"A hickey, really Cas?" His voice was higher than normal and in a mocking tone that was off key.

Cas hung his head. He had seen the hickey during his abhorrent assessment in front of the bathroom mirror that morning.

He had tried to be logical about how to hide the worst of his injuries but tears kept fogging his vision.

The bruises and scratches on his torso were easily concealed, he had picked out the flecks of gravel from his abdomen with tweezers while gritting his teeth. The bites on his shoulders, were to be covered by clothing. As long as he remembered not to wince whenever he sat down or stood up he would not draw attention to himself.

The hickey just below his ear behind his jaw was the problem. He did not own any turtleneck t-shirts nor any make-up that could have hidden the mark. It hadn't even occurred outside the club. It had been when they had been dancing, the other man had murmured sweet words to him and Cas had thought that they would date, they would go to the movies or the park.

Even to himself a day later, he could see how naïve he had been.

"Well I guess that solves the mystery of where you went last night, huh" Dean continued. He was still using that mocking tone and grinning hugely. But his smile did not reach his eyes.

His eyes looked sad.

"She must have been worth it Cas, to walk all the way there and back"

Cas said nothing. He simply stared at Dean who grinned back.

"Yep. Wow. I bet she was, to tempt an angel of the Lord and everything wow" Dean was chuckling now too but it sounded forced and painful. Like he was trying not to cry instead. Dean opened his mouth to say more but made a strangled choking noise instead.

With one last fake smile he turned, walked down the corridor to his room and slammed the door.

Castiel willed his feet to take him to his own bedroom.

He just had time to lock the door before he crumpled to the floor, sobbing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sobs*


	3. When the levee breaks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean breaks Cas. But he's already broken.

Cas avoided Dean for the better part of three days.

When their trips to the kitchen did coincide Dean taunted him relentlessly.

He seemed determined to know everything about Cas's "hook-up"; where they had met, what she looked like and her name.

When he did not reply, Dean changed tactic, asking how much he had paid for her and which brothel he had visited.

Dean was trying to unofficially torture information out of him but Cas couldn't work out why he should care so much.

Perhaps it was just the fact that he knew Cas was hiding something that made him so suspicious.

Now he was plagued by day as well as by night.

The recurring nightmares meant he had to bite his pillow to stop himself from screaming outloud.

He barely slept and the constant interrogations were wearing him thin.

He was eating less, avoiding the kitchen as much as possible. His whole head felt like a ripe tomato, as though one final push would break the levee and he would explode.

 

On the fourth day he ventured quietly from his room and listened at the kitchen door before entering. It was silent. He carefully pushed the door open and slipped inside, heading for the cupboards.

A box of cereal could last him a week if he ate sparingly.

He didn't know how long he could live like this, but he had decided fiercely, that a life of fear and isolation was better than the alternative.

He opened a cupboard door, but the entire shelving unit inside was empty. He felt his stomach constrict and twist into knots because surely Dean wouldn't have...

He checked another, then opened the rest so the entire bare shell of the kitchen wall stood open before him. Hopelessly, he checked the fridge then slammed the door shut.

There was no food and his last meal had been over forty hours ago. Cas ran his hands over his eyes.

There was really nothing more he could take.

 

A light flicked on behind him.

Dean was sitting at the table surrounded by the entire contents of the kitchen, his arms were crossed and his expression etched with finality.

"Castiel, I have taken all the food hostage until you tell me what is going on." Dean's voice was cold.

"You're going to starve me?" Cas asked, he almost laughed. This was ludicrous.

He was going to go insane.

"I heard you screaming last night" Dean countered.

Cas head was pounding, his breathing speeding up. He was hot and burning and he wanted to climb out of he skin.

But he would not break.

He could outlast Dean. He was an angel goddamnit.

But his body was betraying him and the writhing sensation he now attributed to being sick was intensifying. The forbidden memories whipped at him, scraping on gravel, the muted grunting from behind him. He gripped the countertop for support willing his knees to not give in to the flood of pain in his head.

"JUST TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON!" Dean yelled suddenly standing up, Cas' breathing shuddered and he slid down the wall to kneel on the floor. Dean stood over him and he cowered, flinching uncontrollably. His hands were grabbed and he was hauled to his feet, making the blood rush from Cas' head so he felt even fainter. 

Dean crowded him back against the counter.

His eyes weren't filled with fury but betrayal.

He looked so desperate.

"What happened?" Dean whispered now. Cas felt his kamikaze determination dissolve with the softness of the words. As though Dean had put him in a trance where he could only answer truthfully. Cas didn't care what happened to himself any more. But he knew he could not live like this, at war with he man he loved.

"I was raped" His voice came out in a whisper and as soon as it was done, he slapped a hand over his mouth and his other arm around his stomach as if to protect himself. Cas felt his face scrunch up and the tears came of their own accord, sliding down his face slowly. He no longer sobbed loudly, like an injured animal as he had initially.

Now he just cried acceptingly because he had ruined his own life and nothing could ever repair the damage he felt inside his soul. He was tarnished and broken and no one would ever want him again.

"You... what?" Dean sounded astonished. He clearly hadn't expected that answer. Cas waited for him to back away in disgust, to call him every filthy word under the sun and banish him from the bunker.

Because he knew he deserved nothing less.

But what Cas had not expected was to find himself held in strong arms while he cried and to feel Dean's chest heaving erratically against his own. He only registered what was going on when he felt a hot tear, that was not his own, slide down his temple.

"Oh my god Cas, I am so sorry"

Then Dean was stroking his hair and almost cradling him in his arms, as though Cas was still something precious and delicate. Dean's caressing hands brushed down his head then continued down his neck, accidentally dislodging the shoulder of his hooded sweatshirt. It was one of Sam's and far too big for him.

Cas heard an intake of breath and Dean's arm tightened around his waist.

"He do this to you?" Dean had found the bite mark and his voice was tinged with disgust.

"Yes" Cas tensed, waiting to be thrown from Dean, repelled by his obvious impurity represented by the bite mark.

Dean covered his shoulder again with the hoodie and pulled him closer, the sides of their heads pressed together.

"You get his name?" Dean muttered, his lips brushing Cas' neck.

"No"

"It's okay I'll still find him"

"Why" Cas was confused. Dean wanted to meet the rapist?

Dean pulled away from Cas, who automatically became afraid of rejection again.

But Dean just held him at arms length and looked him in the eye. It was liberating to be able to look at Dean again, he had missed his face.

"Because I just want to and... I think that you should go to the doctors"

"I.. what?"

"Well I suspect this guy has done this before, so you might have, y'know contracted something" Dean's eyes were plagued with concern.

Concern for his health.

Like he could be saved.

"Okay. I'll go tomorrow" Cas said, he hadn't even considered it. He was still dazed from Dean's acceptance and care, he wondered briefly if this day was even real.

"Great, you want some food now?" Dean's voice was deliberately light, carefree. Cas felt that his burden pressed less on his chest. He breathed easier.

But as they moved to the table, Cas knew that Dean had deliberately distracted him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There, that's better.


	4. Dean Winchester

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's turn

Dean Winchester walked into The Two Dragons, exactly a week after Cas had.

He had been in before of course but never used his real name. Few people knew of his bi-sexual nature and he intended to keep it that way for hunting purposes. He didn't care what people thought of him but homophobia was a stain on an otherwise perfect record to some hunters and it was hard to work with them at the best of times.

He knew who had raped Cas. There was always this guy who leered at the younger men that came in.

Preying on their innocence and naivety.

The first time Dean had noticed him, leaving the club with some teenager on his arm, he had inquired with the barkeeper about him.

The guy had said his name was Alistair, there had been a few complaints and a case was nearly made against him once but he was never convicted. Even though he always kept a trinket from each victim about his person, they all refused to identify that it belonged to them. Refusing to admit they had been raped by him.

Dean had eyed the barkeeper shrewdly.

"Why don't you ever do anything about him?"

"Because he buys a shit tonne of drinks dude"

At the time Dean had been repulsed by the man's response, but did nothing himself to prevent the perv getting away with it. Talking to the police would unearth that he too, had been in the gay bar and that was as good as coming out.

And now because of his cowardice, his Cas had become the victim.

It was like karma had slapped him hard in the face for not standing up for what was right, due to his own petty fears.

It was all his fault that Cas had been hurt.

This was personal now.

Dean spotted him. Sitting at the bar nursing a pint of lager.

He was alone, there was no young blood to be had, everyone in the bar was with a partner.

Dean took a moment to consider what he had set out to do. He didn't normally kill humans and he had sworn after hell that he would never actively hurt anyone again.

But he remembered the image of Cas literally breaking down in front of him crying his heart out and fury ignited in his chest. Cas crying would haunt him forever. But this guy would be out of their lives.

It was coincidentally poetic that he was called Alistair.

Dean sat down next to the dude, and almost lost his cool entirely when he saw he was wearing Cas's tie. The awkwardly flying swept-backwards tie that matched his eyes perfectly and Dean had dreamt of tugging Cas into deep kisses with.

This guy was gonna get it.

Dark eyes looked up and quickly evaluated him.

Dean could almost read the thought process: he was too strong and confident for Alistair's liking, he had made the first approach which suggested that he had done this before and wasn't a virgin. He wasn't Alistair's type at all. But hey he hadn't gotten laid for an entire week so what the hell.

He positively leered at Dean, who very difficultly resisted the urge to punch him.

"Hey darling, come here often?"

"Yeah, but I just broke up with my boyfriend" Alistair ogled him curiously as if trying to work out how this information was relevant to him. Dean mentally rolled his eyes and pressed on.

"So I really just want to get drunk and have sex" he finished as nonchalantly as possible.

The other man's eyes lit up as though all his Christmases had come at once, Dean could almost see the sick fuck counting all the money and drugs he had saved because he wouldn't need them tonight.

"I think I can help you there" the leer was back.

Dean winked at him, killing him slowly in his mind.

"Good".

They did shots for about half an hour. Dean could hold his liquor better than even Bobby could, so he knew there was no chance of him getting drunk from the tiny glasses. He pretended he was though, giggling and snorting with the other man and saying he had never had so much fun.

Eventually he led the other man through the back of the bar, faking stumbles and laughing.

He led him outside into the alley.

The alley Cas had been raped in.

Dean whipped Alistair around fast so he smacked his head on the wall and Dean pinned him there, one arm across the back of his neck.

"Woah easy there tiger" Alistair hiccupped. He'd had more to drink than Dean and obviously thought this was the beginning of some foreplay debacle. Dean took out his gun and pressed it against the small of the man's back with a silencer attached.

"Is that a gun or are you just pleased to see me" Alistair giggled against the brick wall.

Dean chambered the gun and Alistair froze.

"You raped my friend in this alley a week ago" His voice had become monotone. He was focused on his task and it reminded him of hell. But he was not a creature bourn of agony this time but hatred.

This man undeniably deserved death and if Cas' own Dad didn't care enough to strike the guy down then it was up to Dean.

Alistair breathed harshly against the wall and tried to twist and see Dean's face but Dean pushed his forearm forward more, making him gasp.

"The cute blue-eyed one, oh yeah I had him" Alistair wheezed. "Right here on the floor, ya should've heard him scream"

Dean hit him in the head with the butt of the gun and he fell to the ground. He kicked at him as Alistair tried to crawl away then picked him up and threw him bodily against the wall. Dean aimed a few more well placed kicks at his ribs as he squirmed on the ground, hearing them crack satisfyingly before he knelt hard into Alistair's back and lifted his head up by the hair. Alistair was gasping for breath, his eyes rolling.But when he spoke he was still had pride in his voice.

"Pretty little virgin he was"

Dean smashed his face into the pavement repeatedly, knowing his anger could not be abated unless he strung this guy up and tortured him for days. But he would have to take him back to the bunker to do that and he had no idea what Alistair's presence might do to Cas. He pressed the man's broken and bloodied face into the gravel and put the gun to the back of his head.

"This is for Cas, you son of a bitch".

 

A few hours later Dean strode back into the kitchen, following the delicious smells of whatever Cas was cooking. Cas turned to face him as soon as he entered and observed Dean stand his muddy spade against the wall before speaking.

"So you buried the body"

Dean paused in the act of taking off his jacket.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"The spade Dean"

"I was gardening"

Cas raised an eyebrow at that and put his hands on his gorgeous hips. He looked so sassy and perfect, Dean would've kissed him if they hadn't been discussing the person he had just murdered.

"I went to the hospital" Cas said, evidently giving up the conversation.

"And?"

"And I don't have an STD or anything" Cas said pleasantly, stirring some soup."It might take me a while to heal though".

Dean walked closer to him and Cas turned towards him. They were up against the counter again. Cas had become so much more lucid after he had told him the truth, slowly acting like himself again, trusting Dean not to leave him. Dean was glad that they had not had to come out to each other officially, but just accepted that they had both been to the same gay bar and inferred the rest.

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to kill him?" Cas asked softly, playing with the zipper on Dean's sweatshirt.

"Honestly? I thought you might give me the big "saving people's souls" diatribe, y'know like maybe we should have prayed for his sins instead"

"Oh" Cas sounded genuinely surprised and Dean smiled.

"The thought never crossed your mind did it?"

"No" Cas answered immediately, he looked up to Dean's face and Dean saw the warmth there. "Perhaps the old me would have prayed for him to be saved, but human me wanted him to die slowly, writhing in agony" Dean laughed.

"We are quite a pair aren't we" he said. He never realised that he had always wanted to say that. Always wanted someone just as strong and broken as he was, so they could battle through it together and share the weight of the world's fate. He looked at his Cas and pulled him close. Cas reached up and kissed him.

"We certainly are" he replied.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know right, JUSTICE

**Author's Note:**

> I needed a one-shot in the bunker that led to Destiel eventually but was angsty and depressing to begin with.


End file.
